Helen's 40th Birthday

This week I celebrated my 40th birthday at Picnic Point on the Murray River near Mathoura, NSW. It's been a difficult few weeks since my Mum passed away and I have not been looking forward to my birthday. Earlier in the year, I had talked with my Mum about going on a holiday together for my birthday and now that's not going to happen. It's also the sign of a change in my grief and the beginning of the firsts - this is my first birthday without her.

My husband, my Dad and my nieces: Meg and Alice, and my friend Ellen came along to celebrate with me. We stayed at the Caravan Park at Picnic Point and we had a really nice time. The River was lovely and we spent the days fishing and wandering along the River, and the nights sitting around the camp fire at the Caravan Park. We spent one day near the Edwards River and another day near the Murray River. We caught a few fish, but they were too small and we let them go. We had a picnic for lunch each day, and my friend Ellen organised a chocolate mud cake for us all to enjoy by the river - and it was a beautiful spot.

I was really grateful to have all of these special people around to share this day with me and on the last day, just as we were packing up, a kookaburra flew in and sat on the nearby picnic table and laughed his distinctive laugh. And I remembered, no matter where I go, my Mum will always be with me.

Remembering my Mum

My mum, Raelene, passed away in August after a short battle with Cancer. For those of you who have cared for someone with Cancer you will know how it can be an awful disease. My Mum was aged 61 when she died and I remember when I was a young child and I thought 61 was so very old. But today, it seems much too young to die.

I feel her around me, especially when I am in the bush and I hear the Kookaburra's laugh - I remember how she loved those Kookaburras and how she loved the Australian bush. I especially find it comforting to be near the River. I'm not sure why - maybe it is the sun reflecting off the water, or it is the noise or the smell. Or maybe it is all of those things. Being by a river reminds me how much my Mum enjoyed the Murray River and how she liked to spend all of her holidays camping by the river.

It's my birthday next week and I am planning a few days of camping by the river. My Dad is coming along and I'm sure my Mum will be with us, but I am sad that she won't write on the card or give me a hug on my birthday.